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I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
