There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
