I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
