He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
