The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
