There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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