Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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