Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
