Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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