butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
