these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
