gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
