Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
