at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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