Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
