Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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