it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
