You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
