They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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