Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
