note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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