Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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