I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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