I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
