I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We need to get me chipped asap
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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