She is in my trunk
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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