Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
