The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We left the knife in your bed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
