This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
