Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
