Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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