He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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