she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
