Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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