Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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