he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
