Say something about gay babies.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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