her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
