I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
