I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
