There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
