Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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