I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
