its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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