scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
