if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
