i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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