Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
