Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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