windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
