One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
last night I used snow as a chaser
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
