So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
being pregnant is like rehab
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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